You Can't Go Home Again...

But apparently - you can go back to college. This weekend, I found myself re-tracing steps I haven't taken for over a decade. There I was, back at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey to attend the New Jersey International Film Festival's screening of "Milestone". It's been MORE THAN A DECADE since I was last there... had I mentioned that? Longer than a two-term presidency. About the same length that CHEERS and BEVERLY HILLS 90210 were on the air. It took less years for WHAM! to create "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" and then disband.

Ten Years.

As I think I mentioned in my previous entry, I'm not always the best at looking back, but surprisingly, visiting my old dorm (Go Demarest Hall!) and driving past my old off-campus house was awesome. Beyond some minor revisions, (why oh why do the grease trucks need to provide people with tables???), the campus looked pretty much the same. The weirdest thing about it all was that I felt as if I'd never left. Walking among the students around campus I felt like I was 21 again. Each block, each corner, brought back memories from school... 'this is where my friend drank too much for her 21st birthday'... 'this is where I made out with my date until someone interrupted us to ask for directions'... Whoosh... it all came flooding back.



I'll admit, I was prepared too feel affronted by the experience, but in actuality I relished it. Cooler than the places I visited was the people I got to hang with - one of whom I hadn't seen for many, many years. Swapping stories - who's pregnant, who's moving in with someone, who's getting a divorce (ahem...) was great. Like I had hoped, talking about my breakup, the changes in my life felt fine. It simply felt like my life.

Maybe I'm settling in after all...

Mini-Reunion at the New Jersey International Film Festival

I am not a lady who is big on reunions. My high school had a 10th year reunion and I was a no-show. My college, I'm sure, will have some kind of gathering of alumni of which I will likely not attend. It's not that I turn my nose up at those kinds of events, it's more that I simply find them overwhelming:

"Oh my god! Look at you!"
"No, look at you!"
"You haven't changed a bit!"
"I love your hair!"
"Look at your dress!"
"Holy cow, look at your ass!"


Now with the onset of social media sites like Facebook and Twitter it's like being at a reunion every single day of your life. It also hasn't helped that I've had friends who've had rather *interesting* experiences at their own reunions. One friend was so nervous that she got more drunk than she ever had before causing some embarrassing shenanigans to ensue, and another told me a story of their married friend being propositioned by an old and married boyfriend. So much drama! That's why I'm happy sticking to the odd (and sometimes weird) confessions of old classmates' status updates on Facebook.

However, when my short film, "Milestone" got into the New Jersey International Film Festival, I couldn't give up the opportunity for a mini reunion with some girlfriends from college - especially since the festival screens their films on the Rutgers campus! Did I mention that that's where I went to school? No? Whoops.

So this Saturday, I'm going to dinner and a movie with some old friends. Some of these ladies I've kept in touch with and others I haven't seen in a very long time. At first, I'll admit I was hesitant since I still have that lingering feeling of failure since the breakup of my marriage, but I've decided to push through it. My college experience was great - I had wonderful friends surrounding me for four years and that alone helped me get past my trepidation. I'm still figuring out how to integrate my personal setbacks into my life and I figure there's no better way to help me do that than by meeting up with some old friends... and having a couple glasses of wine.