Friday, July 30, 2010

An Interview with the Record Pilot

Recently I had the honor of being interview by Elizabeth Lanza at the "Record Pilot". It was my first experience with having a feature story written about me or any of my projects and I have to admit, it was pretty thrilling! I also realized that I might say the word "fun" a bit too much...

Anyway, check it out at: Interview with Julie

If I Were a Boy

The other night I was out at a bar listening to a band, and, after a few drinks, I was relaying some of my dating debacles to one of my guy friends. We hadn't hung out in a bit so he needed to be caught up on quite a few of my latest dates. When I was done with my tales he looked at me and said, simply, "Wow." Then he made me a sincere and interesting offer - he said that he would look over potential dates to translate their profiles from guy-speak to Julie-speak.


It made me think... are some of my dates not working out simply because I'm unable to read boy code? Can he offer me the online dating equivalent to the secret decoder ring in the box of Cheerios? Are men and women really so different that even a general dating profile needs to be translated for the opposite sex?

One general difference I've noticed between the ex's is that, what would take me and a number of girlfriends 20 words to say, would take my male friends about 5 words. Neither is better per se, but when you're trying to decipher a dude's profile - where only words and maybe some pics are available to you - I figured it'd be helpful to get a guy's interpretation on a dude's potential for me.

I took my friend up on his offer and showed him three profiles of potential matches. In less than 24 hours, I got the following interpretation from him:

Guy 1:
He looks like Larry David. He’s the guy you meet in a bar who looks like Larry David. Never mention Larry David when you’re trying to meet a lady. Larry David.

Guy 2:
He wants to date Jennifer Garner. He thinks he’s Ben Affleck.

Guy 3:
He’s at the store every Weds when the new comic books come out. Really (I mean REALLY) out of shape and if you’re lucky, has good hygiene.

In guy-speak terms, I went from considering a funny guy, a nice guy and a slightly dorky guy to a Larry David look-a-like, a guy I'm sorely mismatched with since I look nothing like Jennifer Garner and an out-of-shape, stinky comic book addict.

Now I'm wondering - has adding the guy-speak translation helped or hurt my cause?

What do you think? Do I need a man to meet a man?

Monday, July 26, 2010

No Gasping Over Robert Pattinson

I have gratefully surrounded myself with good friends. They are loyal, funny, smart, fun and... honest. Many of you know my good friend, Alicia - who also happens to be my boss at On the Leesh Productions. Alicia and I have had a surprisingly easy time navigating the sometimes uncomfortable waters of a friend/boss relationship. We both have a work voice and a friend voice, and have keen ears to which is being used when. So it was to my surprise when, during a "friend conversation" Boss Alicia came out and commanded that I cease... gasping.

Yes, you've read that correctly. She commanded that I cease gasping. Now, I'm sure you're not surprised that I'm a gasper. Most who know me know that I have a flare for drama at times, and have had the occasion to react to something with a slight intake of breath... a gasp, if you will. Call it my dramatic outlet.

Back to the story at hand. One evening, Alicia and I were discussing I can't remember what, when she pointed to a long movie line that went around the corner. In reaction to said long line, I gasped.

After said gasp, Alicia promptly announced that she and I were in dire need of a gasp-appropriateness discussion. Apparently a long movie line is not gasp worthy and my throwing inhalations around like such cheap trash has brought on Alicia's ire.

About one week later, I received an email with the following subject line: THE GASP LIST. The body of the email contained two lists: Gasp Worthy and Not Gasp Worthy.

If you, like me, have a dramatic flare for things... I present you with Part 1 of your Gasp List Guide from my boss/friend combo, Alicia.

THE GASP LIST, Part 1 (written by Alicia, for Julie)

1. if i walk out of my office with stigmata

2. if you woke up pregnant tomorrow (i get to gasp)

3. if Russell Crowe comes out of the closet

4. if your dog, Dyna-Dog starts speaking Arabic

5. if your cat, Olivia runs up a $5,000 pay-per-porn charge on your cable box

6. if while sky diving with me, my shoot doesn't open

7. if Labron James announces that he moved to miami to join the ballet

8. setting eyebrows on fire

9. seeing Baryshnikov fall out of a pirouette

10. finding out Santa is not real

THE NOT GASP WORTHY LIST, Part 1 (by Alicia, written for Julie)

1. traffic

2. not getting the right salad dressing

3. out of toilet paper

4. hearing Bad Romance four times in one-hour on the radio

5. seeing R-Patz

( i will however allow a gasp if you see r-pats, coach mark wahlberg, george clooney, leo, riggins and paul newman (circa exodus) all playing basketball as skins against the harlem globetrotters (yes even the fictional characters and the dead guy must be present to warrant a full gasp)

6. burning toast

7. a run in your panty hose

8. learning that it's a small world is not running - it always gets backed up

( i will however allow a gasp if the only working ride were the wed way people mover)

9. if i pee my pants on Kingda Ka - have you seen that ride?

10. if you meet the real life Cullens (no one would believe you, so don't waste a gasp)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Dating Advice

My friend Shannon, who might I mention, has her own blog HERE, recently strapped me down and made me listen to Miley Cyrus songs repeatedly until I told her my login and password for the online dating site that I'm on. And when I say she strapped me down and forced MC's music into my ears, I mean that she asked me for the information politely. Since entering the online dating world, Shannon has offered many an opinion about my choices in dudes. My dating life thus far has included being cursed out, being told a guy's sexual fantasy in sordid detail and being given poetry about a dead pet - and these all happened before I went on an actual date with any of them! I'd go to my married friend Shannon with wide-eyes and my mouth hanging open in curious wonder and she'd offer me a glass of wine and then kindly tell me that I didn't know how to pick the right guy(!). It was her wish that she perform a coup on the ruling party that was ME and become the leader of my online single existence. Perhaps she anticipated more resistance, but in all honesty, I was relieved! Fabulous, I thought! Take over! If I'm never cursed out again it won't be soon enough! And so it was that Shannon became Julie online.

The very next day I woke up to an email from her, announcing that she'd contacted the perfect man for me. She had found my destiny. She espoused how much we had in common, how cute he was and, though one cannot read tone in an email, I imagined she was typing whilst grinning and skipping. With the backing of my Ruler of Romance, I went ahead and contacted the guy that same day. I thought, you know, this might actually work. Shannon is one of my closest friends - my Clint Eastwood if you will - having been right by my side through the good, the bad, and some of the ugliest times I've ever had. She's offered advice and her opinion on all aspects of my life - why not go one step further and have her do a little matchmaking for me? I knew she was secretly writing a wedding toast for my upcoming nuptial with this perfect man. It might be safe to say that she was more excited than I was.

He never contacted me back.

After about a week, I told Shannon that I never heard from him. This time it was her coming to me, wide-eyed, with her mouth hanging open in curious wonder and me with a ready glass of wine. After all, friendship, like online dating, goes both ways.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I'm in Love

Recently I was interviewed about "Milestone". Most writers usually talk about how they, 'have to write' or how 'writing is like a calling for them' and that's all lovely and grand and to be respected. However, for me, I realized that I began writing as a way to get to something else.

The reporter asked why/how I began writing and that brought me to my one-woman show, "Belly" and the screenplay "Waltzing Emily". I wish I could say that both were written because I was moved to tell the characters' story but really, my main agenda was to try to write a compelling story that I could act in.

Then I was asked how I got involved with On the Leesh Productions and that brought me to "Table for Three" which I had written because I wanted to learn more about film and, after meeting Alicia (the head of On the Leesh), I decided that writing a short would be a great way to learn more. She agreed and promised that she'd read it. To my delight - not only did she end up reading it, but she also produced and directed it as well. That allowed us the chance to see if we could work well together and... cut to six years later and we're still working together.

All my ulterior-writing-motives made me wonder if I was using writing like some odd rebound relationship: well... since I'm not getting enough outside acting work - I'll write my own! or I'd like the experience of working on a feature film and so... I'll write a short to get a taste of it! I was a too-bit user I guess! Don't get me wrong, I was always totally in agreement with other writers when they talked (or wrote) about how much they loved telling stories and building plot lines and everything, but I also seemed to use it as my avenue for other things.

Until recently...

It has occurred to me that I have recently turned into a 'have to write-r'. Yep! That's me. I'll admit it. I'm Julie and I have to write. I'm no longer rebounding and have made writing my no-excuses-for-the-relationship partner. I have canceled plans to write. I have looked forward to sitting down to write. I have even texted writing notes to myself in case I didn't get to my computer fast enough (though I should say here that I have often forgotten said texts until months later when I was cleaning out my phone).

What in the world does this have to do with Best Laid Plans, you ask? Well.. I guess it goes along with the whole idea of not truly being able to plan out your life path. I don't think I ever would have imagined fantasizing about a house in some remote place where I could write full time, and yet, that fantasy has crossed my mind's eye often. Best Laid Plans began because of my heartbreak about the ending of a relationship and a life I was sure was laying out before me... and yet, I think it was as a result of this heartbreak that I discovered my love for this art form.

Go figure. I guess my dad is right - you never know what's around the corner. That's bad AND good.