Tuesday, January 18, 2011

New Years Resolution: Losing Weight

Weight loss. Come the start of every year the gyms are full, diet companies like Weight Watchers (doesn't Jennifer Hudson look fabulous by the way!), Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem run their commercials nonstop and the news programs include "exclusive" tips and trends in their news cycles. Many of us take part in the pattern - me included. And so there I was this morning, working my way to a smaller tush on the elliptical, when it struck me just how much emotional weight I've lost over these few years. I'm not saying I've turned into some kind of uber-balanced person or anything because that would be a big honking lie, but reviewing the footage from BLP has reminded me just how far into the dark side I had gone post breakup. The depression. Feeling like I had failed. Like I'd let everyone who had come to my wedding down. Truth is, I let myself down. Now, a few years later, it's like I feel as if I'm breathing again. When did that happen? How did it happen? Exactly what year, what month, what day began allowing the oxygen back in? Did my dog help bring the air in? My friends? Family? What? What was it that helped me lose all that emotional weight?

I want to hear from you. When did you start to feel whole again after a huge failure/disappointment/heartbreak? How'd it happen for you? Tell me about your weight loss.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Breaking News - A Best Laid Plans Update

Whew! The holidays have passed and now we're fully immersed in 2011. Is it just me, or does 2011 sound like some crazy space-aged time warp that runs counter to us not yet having flying cars and teleportation? Anyone? Anyone?

Okay, never mind, moving on...

Great news for my "Best Laid Plans" followers - remember how this whole project was meant to conclude as a documentary? Well, some decisions have been made and "Best Laid Plans" will have its debut in the next month or so as a documentary web series (I promise an exact date soon). I spent a number of days over the holiday break mulling over the copious amounts of footage and... whoa. Looking back - seeing how heartbroken I was. Seeing how the failure of my marriage weighed on me was a profound experience to say the least. Memories of feelings are nothing compared with video diaries, and I guess I wasn't prepared for having to revisit those emotions. But I did and I have, and I'm sure that won't be the last time I'm put off guard by having to take in once again all that I said and felt at the time.

They say you should never do your own video editing and I can really see why. It's a challenge to choose footage based on content rather than based on where I think I look the best. Having to push out thoughts such as do i really sound like that??? or why the hell didn't anyone tell me how bad that shirt looks on me! is a challenge for sure. In reviewing tape of one sit down with friends I had the unfortunate realization that I basically ate the entire time. Nothing like an interview to make you peckish, I guess. So there I was, starting at myself, eating... and then talking... and then eating some more. Oy.

Moving on, once again.

So... there's the update! A documentary web series. Sometime in the next month or so.

That is if I can get passed the sound of my own voice :)