Monday, December 13, 2010

To Gasp or Not To Gasp

A while back, I wrote a blog about a little habit I have that drives my good friend, Alicia up a wall. If you don't remember, click here to see the previous post. My love of drama has instilled in me a habit of GASPING. I thought about it the other day when my friend Shannon showed up on crutches due to a twisted ankle, and the sight of her injury elicited one hearty, robust intake of air. Then I remembered that I never posted Part 2 of Alicia's Gasp/No Gasp list.

Before you check it out however, I'd just like to point out to everyone, that the Gasp Worthy list is a lot longer than the Not Gasp Worthy list. Hmmm... interesting. Maybe my habit is not so unfounded after all...

So, without further ado, here it is:

11. finding out the tooth fairy is real

12. waking up with cruella de ville hair

13. if lil kim became a supreme court justice

14. if i were to get chased by ninjas

15. if my poops were electric blue

16. if jason statham gets married to someone that is not me

17. if hammer pants come back into style and anna wintour wears them

18. if my sister jessie were able to levitate (cause it wouldn't be surprising if i could)

19. if you run into the “get off my train” dude from Ghost on the subway – that guy is terrifying

20. if you were to see a real life exorcism

21. if you were to see the alien come out of someone’s stomach in a diner – john hurt style

22. if I were to get braces again and I finally got to kiss ewan mcgreggor and he happened to have braces for a role and our braces get locked together

23. if gael garcia bernal makes a movie that doesn’t show him giving cunnalingus to a woman

24. if the Brooklyn bridge starts to warp while we are crossing it – like that freaky bridge did in Tacoma

25. if while watching a concert at madison square garden, you see the arena get sucked into a sinkhole (like that one in chile) and miraculously our two seats are the only ones that remain

26. spontaneous human combustion – anyone. Anywhere.

27. if you walk into my apartment and I’m having tea with oprah in our jammies

28. if we are getting air-lifted out of the water from some freakish accident and, while climbing up the ladder to the helicopter a Great White Shark jumps at us. (Like that photoshopped photo, but real)

29. If I ever finish a game of monopoly

30. If snuggle the laundry bear is really jack the ripper

31. if mel gibson ever has a comeback

32. if I cut the top of my thumb off – again. gross

Things that are NOT GASP WORTHY

11. if a new serial killer is discovered to be dressed as a clown - they are suspect

12. if you see a ghost – everyone knows they’re real, just stay out of their way

13. at the fact that peter gabriel taught a group of monkeys how to play instruments – that’s just cool

14. if you learn that time travel is possible, cause it is (however, if I time travel and wake up to find I'm getting chased by a saber tooth tiger, I will allow a gasp)

15. if my dog atticus started speaking. We all know he can, itt’s just his choice not to

16. if I pass out – I do it a lot

17. if I’m invited to race the indie 500

18. the line at the movies