Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Jumping Into Thin Air

Holy shit!

Its been almost 9 months and NOTHING! I've completely been keyboard silent and have no excuses for it.

But here is my excuse...

I never actually went sky diving.

I know, I know! There I was making a huge big bold promise to throw myself out of an airplane but instead, the furthest I've jumped these last few months was when a mouse graced me with its presence in my friend's living room. In total honesty, I was embarrassed. Then, as you do with most embarrassing things in your life - I shut it out of my head completely.

Then something happened. I met a lovely woman. The stellar and prolific novelist/screenwriter/songwriter Gwen Davis, introduced me to Melissa Braverman. Melissa is the creator and writer for the blog (and adventure), singlegalnyc.com. If you haven't read it - I highly recommend you do so. Talking with her about the experiences she's had in speaking with other women across America about being single, was nothing short of inspiring. That's when I realized that it was time to come clean.

I never actually went sky diving.

There, I said it again.

You should know that I was fully intending on doing it. It wasn't for fear of jumping out of the airplane. In truth I don't know what it was. At the time, some personal issues and some financial issues collided into a perfect storm of stress and anxiety. I think I was constantly feeling as if I was already jumping out of a plane metaphorically, so I didn't feel the need to be doing it physically. Sadly, I have no better excuse than that.

Its made me wonder about the promises we make (and break) to ourselves. I was speaking with a friend of mine about the book Into Thin Air and how each of us would feel if our partners felt it was their lifelong dream to climb Everest. It's a hard one for me to imagine without being in the actual situation, but I wonder how I'd feel about someone not fulfilling their own self-promises. It's so easy to list the things that get in the way - and often the list includes perfectly sound and reasonable reasons. And often, the other side of the coin is a much shorter list - containing perhaps only one reason: because you promised yourself you would.

I hope one day that I will jump out of an airplane.

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