Friday, February 11, 2011

Walking Tall

Recently, my friend and fellow writer/blogger, Melissa Braverman wrote about our Girls' Night Dinner at Fig and Olive. At the risk of seeming like I'm in some blogging competition with Melissa, reading her entry about some of what we discussed that night, made me want to blog about it as well. Calm down, I'm not about to embark on some blogging girl fight here, I just found that our discussion that evening lingered with me as much as it did with her. As she mentions in her entry, we talked about her recent dating experiences and the "innocent" comments some of her dates have offered her about Single Gal NYC. Melissa is correct, anyone, including the men she goes out with, have the right to discuss a public blog, but her reaction of downplaying her work was strikingly familiar to me. I, too, often play down my work - projects that I've thrown so much energy and love into – I’ve found I barely, if ever, mention. I wonder - is this a woman thing? Are we so afraid of walking tall with what we create all on our own? Is it politeness that keeps us from sounding off (if even considerately) when a date knocks what we do down a notch? I used to think that I was just avoiding being seen as the stereotypical ego-laden performer/writer. But I think it may be more than that.

I remain steadfast in my advice to Melissa. Life, work and all the rest are too draining by themselves without a potential boyfriend further sapping our chosen pursuits. I just wonder why the instinct to accept being smaller is there? I remember how difficult it was for me to tell my boyfriend, Brian, that I actually wanted him to read or watch some of my work. He had expressed interest in my projects previously, but I tended to brush it off. Then I realized, as important as my projects are to me, why would I ever want him to be cut off from that section of my life? I'm not saying I forced a Julie-Project-Marathon on him, but I finally admitted that I did want him to watch some of my work, or read my blog, or check out something I had edited.

My assignment to myself (bummer...school work on a Friday), is to take my own advice. I shall walk a little taller. No. A lot taller. So tall, my 5’1” self might just be able to reach the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets.

I’m betting the view is nice up there.

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