Back from the BIFF!

Jess and I are back from the Berkshire International Film Festival and we had a fantastic time! Kelley Vickery, Lauren Ferin and Rachel Bronstein put on another amazing festival, packed with great films, awesome cocktail parties and an incredible welcoming community. Although we missed the Opening Night celebration, the second night we were able to attend the tribute to Patricia Clarkson, which was such a treat for me since she is one of my all-time favorite actresses (and “The Station Agent” is one of my all-time favorite movies). Her tribute included guests like Lauren Ambrose and Chris Noth as well as a packed house in the gorgeous Mahaiwe Theater. That will be a night I shall remember for a long time.

“Milestone” was screened in a block of great films. I felt very honored to be among such good movies (some included: “Wasting Daylight”, “Breaking Boundaries: The Art of Alex Masket,” and “The Jacket”).

Overall it was a blast celebrating a movie with a friend I’ve known since middle school at a festival that just gets better and better. Be sure to check it out next year!

Pathway to a Short Film Panel Discussion

PHOTO: First order of business as director: keep cast and crew hopped up on caffeine.


So... We’re coming up on the Berkshire International Film Festival and I have some fun news – they’ve asked me to participate in a panel discussion about making short films! I’m so honored and excited that I was asked (and that I was even considered knowledgeable enough to participate). Since beginning “Best Laid Plans” my life has grown so much both personally and professionally.

Production on BLP is going on about 2 1/2 years now and looking back from where I was then, to where I am now, is fascinating. I wonder if it’s the same feeling journal writers get when they look back on entries from years ago. When I began shooting BLP, “Milestone” wasn’t even in my purview, nor was having the opportunity to direct a film for that matter. From the first day of shooting on the documentary, I had very little knowledge about the camera, relying heavily on my Director of Photography at the time. Now I can shoot an interview on my own if need be. I’m tackling the editing of the movie as well – which is also something I knew very little about then. Don’t misunderstand, I have LOADS to learn about the art of filmmaking from all angles, but I’m not sure I ever imagined I’d know as much as I do now.

And personally, as a result of the ordeal of divorce, my circle of people has gotten smaller; that circle is much richer now. My friendships mean more to me than ever before. They are deeper and more soulful, if you will. More than ever for me, friends and family have become synonymous and I don’t think I would have said that three years ago.

To bring all of this back to the panel, I think that one of the things I would offer to budding short filmmakers is to learn about every facet of how to make your film. If you’re not already a one-man band, learn a little about it all so that the experience is richer and you’ll walk away with more than just your movie. Also, surround yourself with the best people for you. A smaller, tighter group of people who are out to create the best film possible. You might fare better than having a huge crew that is less community and more individual-minded.

Other than that, you’ll have to attend the panel!

Film Festivals and Mikhail Baryshnikov

In just a few days I will be heading to The Berkshire International Film Festival with one of my closest friends (and an incredible artist and designer), Jessica. She’s driving us up there on Friday so we can check out 3 screenings of Milestone! This will be my second time going to this festival and I’m really excited I get to attend again! It’s always such a great feeling when a community comes out to support upcoming filmmakers and watch independent films they may not otherwise have the opportunity to see.

I’ve been really lucky – Milestone has gotten into 11 film festivals so far! The only unfortunate thing is that I haven’t been able to attend all of them. However, the ones I did get to go to were all amazing experiences. Here’s a short rundown...

The Los Angeles Women's International Film Festival was awesome for many reasons. The first was that I got to go with my sister, Karen who I never get to spend much time with. The second was that I was surrounded by other women filmmakers. It was an incredibly supportive feeling being in a town like Los Angeles – where the industry is still primarily run by men - to be surrounded by such great female artists. That was pretty cool.

The Method Fest, which ran at the same time as The Los Angeles Women’s Int’l Film Festival was also pretty amazing! In particular, the shorts program director, Derek Horne was awesome to work with. He was such an advocate for all of the movies and his enthusiasm began from the moment the film was accepted into the festival.

Then there was the NYC Downtown Short Film Festival. So... Although there wasn’t much traveling involved for this fest, it was great to be able to sit with friends and watch the film on a big screen! I was amped for a night in the city but found myself unprepared for what I experienced. Ummmm... Mikhail Baryshnikov was in the audience!! In case you’ve been living under a pointe shoe, Mikhail Baryshnikov is beyond the beyond in terms of dance. I grew up dancing and so I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know his name. Some of you may also know him from “Sex and the City”. I now know him from (and by “know” I mean saw), the NYC Downtown Short Film Festival! Living in NYC, you get kind of used to seeing famous people and it’s not that I’m jaded or anything like that, but when a well known person crosses my path, I tend not to go bonkers and ask for my boob to be signed or something crazy such as that. However had my parents not been in attendance that evening, I think I would have made my way over to Mr. Baryshnikov with one hand gripping a pen and the other pulling my shirt way down. But alas, my skin has not been branded and I’ve been able to shower regularly. I did, however, get to introduce my movie and, though the theater was packed with people, I looked at none of them. I only had eyes for MB. I was elated... He though, may have been a bit perturbed.

Can’t wait who I’ll run into in the Berkshires!

That Couple Is Cheating On Me

I was part of a great foursome. And by that, I don’t mean some dirty foursome, as in swing-this-way-foursome. My ex and I had a couple that we got along with perfectly. There was no - ‘oh, the women are friends, so the husbands have to hang out’ or ‘he’s nice but man, she’s a nightmare.’ We all genuinely liked each other. Even our dogs got along. We’d go out to dinner, have game nights, movie nights, simple hang out nights and sometimes, we’d separate and do just the girls while the guys hung out.

Now our foursome is a threesome...again, not the dirty kind. The couple is like family to me and I still love hanging out with both of them and try to do it as often as possible. And while I think I’m pretty fun to hang out with, I can’t morph myself into two people (and I certainly can’t morph myself into being a dude). Naturally, my friends found another go-to couple for their game nights and such. Naturally. Yet, I find myself... jealous. Is that weird? My girlfriend and I have spoken about the breakup of my marriage often, but recently the discussion was less about my feelings regarding said breakup, or the transition to singlehood and more about what a bummer the breakup of the foursome has been. It’s really a big ol’ bummer. She concurred.

When I go on dates now, I find myself not only looking for someone that could possibly be a good fit for me, but I try to suss out whether they’d be a good fit for my friend’s husband. I want to ask... “so, um... Do you like strategy games? Are you up on technology? Could you say, have a well thought out conversation about a good graphic novel you’ve read recently? Do you even read graphic novels? And if no, would you be willing to have a go at reading one soon?”

And do I add these questions before or after the question about whether he’s okay with my dog sleeping in the bed (see previous entry if confused)?

Oy. I should just create a questionnaire. Or better yet, maybe I’ll just bring my friend’s husband and my dog on the date with me. Just get it all figured out right then and there.

Thoughts?

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?

So... A little while back a very good friend of mine and I were talking about my dog (who, I should confess, runs my life). She commented that now that I’ve been thrust into singlehood, I might want to rethink where my dog gets her shut eye. Currently, her bedtime location is with me, on the bed. She’s a medium-sized mutt but once asleep, she morphs into a pile of lead bricks, making it near to impossible to move her. My friend’s thought was a logical one – now that I may have, you know, guests over (let’s just call them guests for now), I should be open to them not wanting the dog in the bed. It’s a fair assumption.

My dog came into my life as part of my old, coupled existence. My ex and I weren’t married yet, but we were on that road and so, the decision to have the dog in the bed with us, was mutual. It was a family decision. Once my ex left, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that it was nice not to have a completely empty bed. Having another body on the mattress with me made it seem, in the beginning, much less lonely. My dog and I adjusted to my ex’s absence together – an odd team of sorts.

However, now my friends advice rings in my ears as I make my way out there in the single world. As I do with most things that are on my mind, I raised the question with another good friend. Figuring she would confirm my other friend’s advice I was hoping to get some tips on how to train the dog to sleep on her own bed. To my surprise, she had a different reaction. Though she agreed that some guests might have an issue with the sleeping arrangements, she felt that anyone who would make their way to being a guest (don’t you love a euphemism), would have to be an animal lover. That I would never be with someone who wasn’t accepting of that sort of thing.

The debate was on.

Then I wondered, how will I know whether this is true early on? Is that the kind of thing you ask someone over drinks? You know like, “Hey Mr. dude, are you the sorta guy that is accepting of a situation in which you may only be provided less than 1/4 of the bed because my dog likes to sleep horizontally in the middle of that very same bed? Oh, and I would be on the opposite 1/4 of that bed. She’ll be between us... Wait, where are you going? Are you sticking me with the bill? It was nice meeting you....”

These are the sort of scenarios that make the idea of dating so foreign to me. Of course, yes, you want to date someone who is right for you but there seems to be a lot between that first drink and right for you. Are you with me? I think both of my friends are right – and there’s the rub. There’s no one dating/relationship answer to go by. I mean, of course there are some dating do’s and don’ts, but when it comes to the details of how a person lives their life – the do’s and don’t’s get kind of muddled, don’t they?

I don’t know... What do you think... Dog in the bed, or no dog in the bed?

Locked in the Bathroom

Since I’ve gotten my little sky diving confession out of the way, I guess the next thing to talk about is what I’ve been doing these past nine months. Although I’ve been absent here, I’ve thought a lot about the documentary and have done some more shooting. In thinking about it, I realized that while documenting how I’m handling life’s curveballs is interesting, finding out how other people handle them is even more fascinating to me. So... Keeping that in mind I’ve spent much of my BLP shooting time interviewing other people. I talked to my sister, my brother-in-law, some friends, my parents and even some of my parents’ friends.

One interview that really stuck with me was with my mom’s best friend, Barbara. Her first husband passed away from a brain tumor when I was around 13 years old. For me, his illness and subsequent death was significant not only because they are like a second family to me, but also because it was my first real experience of life not working itself out. I remember saying to my father offhandedly when they told me about John’s illness, “Okay, but he’s gonna get better, right?” I assumed my father was going to say something along the lines of, ‘of course’ or ‘it’s going to be difficult, but yes eventually...’. You can imagine then the punch in the gut it was to hear, ‘ we don’t know.’ The air of not knowing if something was going to work out entered my atmosphere and has remained to this day.

When I talked to Barbara about that same event, it was so interesting to get her perspective on the entire experience. She’s happily married to a great man now, but at the time, she was taking care of a dying spouse while raising three teenage girls. And even though I was there, and lived through it, the thought of what that must have been like for her is mind boggling. How did she get through it? How did she manage? How did she not lock herself in the bathroom and refuse to come out? And here’s what she said:

I had diarrhea every day for a year.

I should tell you here, that Barbara is a very honest and generous person, but mostly, she’s hilarious and a lot of fun to be around. She’s not very shy when it comes to her bodily functions and so, when she answered with what could have been considered a sarcastic or glib response, I knew she was being totally serious. Her emotionally gut-wrenching experience became a physically gut-wrenching experience.

For Barbara, best laid plans turned into mourning and diarrhea. It seems that even your intestines are not safe from your life going awry.

Jumping Into Thin Air

Holy shit!

Its been almost 9 months and NOTHING! I've completely been keyboard silent and have no excuses for it.

But here is my excuse...

I never actually went sky diving.

I know, I know! There I was making a huge big bold promise to throw myself out of an airplane but instead, the furthest I've jumped these last few months was when a mouse graced me with its presence in my friend's living room. In total honesty, I was embarrassed. Then, as you do with most embarrassing things in your life - I shut it out of my head completely.

Then something happened. I met a lovely woman. The stellar and prolific novelist/screenwriter/songwriter Gwen Davis, introduced me to Melissa Braverman. Melissa is the creator and writer for the blog (and adventure), singlegalnyc.com. If you haven't read it - I highly recommend you do so. Talking with her about the experiences she's had in speaking with other women across America about being single, was nothing short of inspiring. That's when I realized that it was time to come clean.

I never actually went sky diving.

There, I said it again.

You should know that I was fully intending on doing it. It wasn't for fear of jumping out of the airplane. In truth I don't know what it was. At the time, some personal issues and some financial issues collided into a perfect storm of stress and anxiety. I think I was constantly feeling as if I was already jumping out of a plane metaphorically, so I didn't feel the need to be doing it physically. Sadly, I have no better excuse than that.

Its made me wonder about the promises we make (and break) to ourselves. I was speaking with a friend of mine about the book Into Thin Air and how each of us would feel if our partners felt it was their lifelong dream to climb Everest. It's a hard one for me to imagine without being in the actual situation, but I wonder how I'd feel about someone not fulfilling their own self-promises. It's so easy to list the things that get in the way - and often the list includes perfectly sound and reasonable reasons. And often, the other side of the coin is a much shorter list - containing perhaps only one reason: because you promised yourself you would.

I hope one day that I will jump out of an airplane.